Well I fell across this blog... http://kdsthinkingoutloud.blogspot.com/2009/08/rescued.html and I think you should read it... I was in some desperate need for some cheering up let me tell you.. and its just one of those heart warming stories of a lady and her puppy. fantastic.
Inspiration seems to be something I am lacking, and even though I have just handed in my last piece of work for this year (thank god!) I still feel really melancholy.
Trying to be yourself I think is one of the most difficult things a person can do. Because to be yourself surely you have to be a little bit like the people around you?? As they have put some input into your life. But if these people are not rubbing off their traits onto you... You just feel a little lost... in limbo... the only fork in a huge bunch of spoons. What is this massive desire for the human race to be part of a group? obviously a natural thing as animals run in packs. But what if you feel like you have fallen into the wrong pack? Not for any particular reason, just that your pack runs a different route to you. You have a choice then. The choice to carry on being yourself and hope that the pack accepts you for that eventually. Or to become one of the pack heart and soul... totally mould yourself into one of them - which doesn't have to be a bad thing, creating a new you... its whether deep down you want a new you.
Some people are very good at keeping all their personality traits and still blend into a group without a flicker of change in themselves... and the group grows to accept them. Now I however... Have no idea what I do in this situation. The thought process runs through my head until I overcomplicate it soooo much that that is probably the problem in the first place. If I spent less time in my head and just more time throwing myself into the group I would not have these worries in the first place! But then you wonder... is it all in your head?
I have contradicting arguements from lots of sides and to be quite frank, I have no idea what to do... apart from try to be what I class as "myself" and not let anyone change or belittle that. Thats harder than you think.
Why am I so difficult? The pack is a bunch of lovelies in their own unique way... But for some reason I think I missed a train somewhere and am now completely off track. Derailed and my phone has cut off so calling for help seems to be off limits by far.
My brainwave is out of sync and to be honest... its throwing my whole self off track completely
So if anyone can help please.... leave me a note... or give me a new head...
Til next time... B ♫
