132 days...

Good Morning there,

Well its another lovely day here in England. These days are rare and should never be winged about as it is truly stunning and if I could spend the day in the sun I truly would my friends.

But instead I do have to go to work. Pain in the rectum these job things aren't they? Saying that though I do enjoy the change in scenery I must say! And on a student nurse wage you need a little bit on the side just to make life that much more exciting for you when you do have the spare time. As I am heading off to France in a few weeks (never been... so this should be intriguing) I need all the money I can possibly get!

I am glad the France thing is rolling around. Life is boring me at the moment. So much so I had to get a book called 132 days. Now that might not make any sense to you right now but it will in about 3 seconds. Its a book detailing different things you can do with yourself on your days off. It has something for every weekend, holiday day and bank holiday. And this book cheers me up immensely every time I look through it! whether it be about an underwater hotel or a volunteering holiday working with Elephants.

I am glad I have such a read. Because in these moments where life just isn't being satisfactory... You can have dangerous thoughts on how to make this more exciting. Mostly negative. Like getting so "totally wasted" out of your face and ending up in a town... in a house that you have never been in before and probably would never of in a sober moment. All in one night you could possibly commit a crime, end up noticing that vomit seems to be a new part of your dress code and that adultery is definitely a good idea. These are all things I have no interest for. The only thing I want to do when drunk is tell all my friends and even strangers that I love them. Dance like a total rock star (even though everyone watching will think your a total idiot), do something embarrassing enough to be laughed at but not to be arrested/ thrown out/ broken up with over.

You see in this mist of boredom, I do have a slight savior. That would be Slim. Slim is my other half and that is not a very imaginative name for him at all. As he is very slim indeed. And very much my opposite. But we work and that's all I ask for. Plus I adore him. OK, there are moments when some things could be different, but in the massive scheme of things they are not really that important. His appetite for some things could be higher. But this would only be because I have such an insatiable habit for it. It is just one of those things in life I find extremely fascinating and would like to make a good part of my life. But I shall be weening him into that life slowly and shall definitely be keeping you updated with that.

You see, the thing is, I find sex truly intriguing. I mean people can change most things about themselves. But not this area. This is always something that a person will have certain things they enjoy and express and will never be truly happy with themselves unless they are being true in these areas. And I don't mean homosexuals pretending to be hetero. I mean everything. Like the young woman who likes to be spanked. The man who likes to pretend to be a baby. Yet these are the most hidden things from the ones we love most. Doesn't anyone else think thats odd? Something that gives you pure pleasure and happiness and your ashamed of it? I think this is terrible. If you enjoy wearing your other halfs underwear (this is aimed more at the male species...) then why not let her know... Obviously dont come prancing down into the kitchen with her best La Sensa set on. Ease it in. Its totally you. Trust me, if the person loves you then surely they should love everything about you? People. Liberate.

She says hiding behind her computer screen. I can hear you saying that in your head. I am working on it. Miracles don't happen overnight you know.

Time to put on the working clothes and face.

Ciao x B ♪

Now You Think That I...

Right.



I would introduce myself but that would make this Blog completely pointless as I want this as anon as possible.



Many reasons for this.

The thrill of people reading this and not knowing who I am is one. One other is the fact that I am training to be a nurse and confidentuality is needed [read: I may possibly talk about either upsetting or funny patients/incidents] All I am going to say is that I leave in the Cambridgshire area (England for any or our international readers) and that I shall be known to you as B. The third is I shall be brutually honest and I am guessing there are just a few people out there that would not like to read what I am writing.

The reason I am doing this is because... you could say... I like the feeling of being immortal. and sharing my life as a whole. I just want to share a little piece of what is me. As I find great difficulty in doing that in real life...

The segment that pulled me into doing this is the following... an extract from my own hand written journal:-

"Sometimes you make desisions in life and think you got it wrong. Fell in love too fast, or don't let yourself fall in love at all. Take too many risks, or just don't bother taken any at all. I have figured now is not to regret. But to appreciate. Because these things you choose to do, set out a path. And this path leads to a bigger picture. So regrets or not, they are life changing all the same. So why not appreciate every life changing detail? Appreciate and surrender into the pain and sorrow. Embellish in the happiness and euphoria.

Face the fears. Run. Fast. Forgive the ex's... It makes no difference as they have lost you anyway. And now they are a part of you, they will effect your decisions. Let people have that effect. But not control. Remember - You are nothing without the people around you. And they are nothing without you.

You have changed someone's life . For good nor bad. Just change. You will have effected the way they think. And they will have done the same to you. Jealousy is natural. Being Obbessive is not. You will always want to be the better man. The strongest will survive.

Socialisation has made it easier to accept failure. But yet failure is a way to feel alive. Pain - It has given us some of our greatest literature. Music would be nothing without the poetry behind it. Go with the gut feeling, even if it takes you to the other side of the world. You can always come back.

We live in the generation of the rewind button. Facelifts are all the rage. Liberate.

Throw those paddies, but let them go just as quick. Realise the friends worth keeping, and the aquaintances that are not. You may not be their true friend but they were never yours. Be sensible at the right times - but totally silly the rest. Laugh as often as possible. Love, even if you have no idea of the meaning of the word. Don't lie, they all come out in the end. Remember- the past is the past for a very good reason. And only the lucky can make it into your future.

Move forwards. Don't stand still. Never judge, they could of been the the most wonderful person you never gave yourself a chance to meet.

Make your life, a life that is really worth living."

For now. That is it from me. Til next time. B✿